Do I really have to choose?

Some of you my know that I grew up with my mom. My parents divorced when i was 6. So, I went through most of my life without a good, stable father-figure. It was hard and I cn see the impact that has had in my life.

But, I was lucky enough to have been able to make things right with my dad recently. I am thrilled and I feel more whole and content now. My sister and I, as a sort of commemeration, got matching "Dad" tattoos. I love it! But I wasn't sure how my mom would handle it because she spent so much time and energy trying to keep me away from my dad. So, I decided not o tell her. She, of course, found out. And she's not happy. She didn't speak to me for a long time...

She told me all the reasons that I will regret it and how I shouldn't trust my dad (who is a good guy). Anyways...I just really wish there wasn't so much pressure to...choose.

Do I really have to choose? Pushing my dad aside would put me back in good graces with my mom but I love my dad. He doesn't really pressure me to choose but my mom sure does. I want to have good relationships with both my mom and dad...but how it that possible?

Ugh! Idk. Things will work out I guess.
~Lola~

The Temple Gate Called Beautiful

"Now a man crippled from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts.

When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money.

Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!”

So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.”"
~Acts 3:2-6

I was reading this today and for some reason this story just really stands out to me. There is something about the name of the gate...Beautiful. It's almost as if he can only be just outside beauty...never quite attaining it. And he was hoping...begging...for some money. He wanted things of this world...things that would never truly make him happy. John and Peter knew, however, about something (or someone) that was worth sooo much more than anything on this earth. So, this is the metaphorical picture I get...

This man was born imperfect, unworthy compared to the world's standards. So he spent his day sitting just outside the gates of Beauty and yearned, reached, begged for something that could bring him closer to the beauty and acceptance he wanted. He yearned for things that would never satisfy him.

Of course, then John and Peter come along and share the truth with him. He didn't need to beg for worldly things because he could be healed and completed by the One thing that really mattered.

Idk, maybe I'm reaching a little too much with this one but I just get this picture in my head every time I read about it. All too often we tend to feel inferior and ugly...but God makes us beautiful. We wait outside and strive for a way to get into the inner realms of "Beautiful" but it's God that takes us there. His sacrafice for us is so completely beautiful that it overflows onto us when we enter his gates of love.

The Jeff Doll Prototype...courtesy of Grant Armstrong

This is sooo hilarious!!!

The Jeff Doll...

We decided that we're going to make a Jeff doll and you can press it's paw to make it say things. When someone is feeling down and depressed, you can just hand them the Jeff doll and it will cheer them up with one of it's many saying...including:

"The purpose is in the process!"

"Jeremiah 29:11!"

"It's okay to not be okay!"

"SHAME...should have already mastered everything."

"Don't say sorry!"

"There were two penguins...."

You think it'd sell???
~lola~ (and Me. Chelle.)

Yay!

It's my birthday! This song is for me from me...enjoy!




~Lola~

The Amazing David Meshow!

This guy beatboxes the entire thing. It's crazy cool!!!




~Lola~

The Need to be Bad???

A friend and I were talking the other day. We shared our backgrounds (which are surprisingly similar) and our dreams. We came to an interesting conclusion. We talked about how we both come from families largely impacted by alcohol, fights, bad decisions, etc. And we have come up with this theory...our genetic backgrounds make us want to be bad.

Yep! I've always felt this opposing force inside me...good and bad. I want to be good...but I also want to be BAD! It sounds dumb and illogical, but it's true. Our backgrounds are riddled with wrong things and so somehow we each feel the need for that lifestyle. I can sometimes imagine making certain decisions that everyone around me says are bad...and feeling good about it. But then I come back to my senses and remember what the Bible says about how I should live my life.

It's just interesting though...hhmmm...
~lola~