The price of being a youth leader...

They say a picture is worth a thousand words...well, check this out!









Lena and Jessi did my make-up...marilyn manson style. But then I got Jessi back! lol.

The girls made pizza, we did facials and make-up, played guitar hero and UNO, and watched some movies...oh, yeah, and we did a little karaoke! (we're soaring...flying)

Overall, it rocked! We will have to do it again.

~Lola~

Rainy days have come my way...

It's raining outside...well, sort of. It was raining, then it did some snowish stuff, now it's sleeting. I usually love rain but not when it's cold, too. For some reason it makes me feel lonely.

I had to get gas and it was either now or at 6:00 in the morning. I decided now was the best time. I went by the bank first just to double check how much I had in there and got a big surprise when it showed that I had about $60 less than I thought and it was not nearly enough to get me to work tomorrow and then to Jenn's...let alone to work everyday next week! Unfortunately, this happens a lot because I am really bad with money. I don't write down how much I spend...I just keep a ballpark figure in my head. Sometimes, I'll forget that I spent something only to go to the ATM and not have money anymore.

Starting in April, I am going to totally changing my spending habits (I hope). I will carry my checkbook around so I can record how much I spend, I will budget where my paycheck will go, and I will start saving.

As for now, I will just have to ask my mom for money....uuuughhh!

Well, that's all for tonight.
~Lola~

What This Means...

I've talked with some people today and the place that I wanted to live is not much of an option. I had found this place and if I lived there it meant that I could have my cat and not worry about getting caught with him. It meant I could have room to breathe. It meant that I could have a space that is "mine".

For so long, I've had this dream of going to college and meeting a cute guy and getting married and starting a family. That dream is what I held tight to when it felt like things weren't going to get better...whenever I felt like God wasn't there. Now, that dream is not happening because I am unable to go to college.

The place where I live right now...sucks! At first it was cool cause I was on my own but then I didn't like it anymore. I kept thinking, 'Don't stress. It's just for a little while. Soon you can go to college.' This was my stopping off place until I could move onto better things.

But what happens now? I want to leave this place behind! If only I knew a rich person that I could borrow the money from!

I don't know...

On the up side, I have a job interview on Friday for a better job! Wish me luck!


My Goals for The Rest of This Year:
* save as much money as I can
* get out of what little debt I have
* settle into my (hopefully) new job
* learn yoga or tai chi
* turn 19
* feel happier in my body

Well, that's all for now.
~Lola~

Girl's Slumber Party!

Woohoo! I am sooo excited because Friday night we will be having a sleepover at my friend, Jenny's house. It's for our junior high chat room and we invited a couple of our high schoolers. We're gonna eat great food, watch movies, do facials, paint our nails, and just all around have fun! Stay tuned a post on how it went.
~Lola~

Life, Love, And the Pursuit of Happiness

Lately I've been thinking a lot about changing my life. I'm at a point where things are just boring and not at all how I want them to be. So, I'm going to be learning how to manage my money better and I think I'm going to make some major changes in my diet. Also, I'm looking for a new place to live and a new place to work.

Sometimes, I lie in bed and think about my life. I picture a girl of average size who likes to dance and sing and just all around enjoy her life. She sits on her porch with a book and a cup of coffee or she sits on the floor in her room practicing yoga and meditating. Her life is peaceful yet exciting, calm and balanced, full of love and joy. She serves her God with her whole life and is a leader to younger girls.

This is who I want to be. But right now it feels like my life is spinning out of control! I am having money trouble, work is so stressful, I feel lonely and my body is nowhere near how I want it to be. My apartment is too small and it adds to my stress. As far as being a leader...well, unfortunately, I've been immature and irresponsible in the past. It's hard to change how I've been and other people still see me as I've been.

But, now I'm trying to change. I'm trying to take charge of my life and be who I want to be. Sounds fun, huh?! Lol.

Well, my peeps, that is what I have to say right now. Until next time I hope that you too will find your life, love, and pursuit of happiness. We all have an "inner self" (it is when who we are and who we want to be intersect) and we must find it and embrace it!
~Lola~

Introducing....

Hello! My name is Lola...well, not really. But that is what I go by these days. When you share the same name as someone else it gets confusing. So what did I do? I created a new identity of course! ; ) Well, this is my new "spot". This is where I will complain about my job, my apartment, and anything else I can. I will also question, protest, and take a stand. So, watch out! Keep an eye on this space and read what I have to say...because you know it's important.
~Lola~